Weaver & Jed vs. Themselves

W: My name is Andrew Weaver, 22, a Libra, a member of the AriZona Tea Drinkers Fan Club, straight dude and a drug-free guy, despite what those who know me would say.

J: My name is Jeremy "Jed" Siple, , 21, a Gemini and out and proud homosexual who enjoys watching NASCAR racing (tell me the last time you heard that).  I also am drug free no matter what my criminal record says.

W: Together...WE FIGHT CRIME!  Ok, not really, but it sure beats "we work dead end job in the middle of nowhere" doesn't it.  Jed and I met in 2002 at Jeff Tech in Reynoldsville, PA.  He had just transfered there from another precinct, a brash rookie, and I was the aging veteran only three days from retirement.
J: What a load of bullshit!  I actually came from Brockway Area Hell District after putting up with the intollerable queer bashing and there met Weaver, my life partner, er, best friend.  Together we have been reviewing and ridiculing the worst in pop culture and elsewear ever since.  We watch the worst movies, listen to the worst music, and play the worst video games.  We need help.
W: I'm to blame for the bad movies.  I pointed his mouse to BadMovies.org and he's never been the same since.  To think, if it weren't for me, he'd be a well paid accountant doing favors for closeted homosexuals, instead of a catalog rep for a department store doing favors for out homosexuals.  Vast difference.

J: After getting together at his house one night, we suddenly came up with a plan.  A plan so groundbreaking, so revolutionary, so visionary, 50 Deadhead stoners in their most amazing trip could not have conceived it.  And that plan was:  we really need to blog this shit!
W: This is the result: SUBSTANDROTRON!  So named for a really bad Transformers rip-off called Transmogrifiers.  Instead of coming from Cybertron, these guys come from SUBSTANDROTRON!  Therefore, SUBSTANDROTRON is the home base for the ultimate in crap: movies, TV, music, sports, wrestling, toys, and all the rest of the stuff no one else online will touch...except everyone else who blogs about this shit.

...

SUBSTANDROTRON!!!

J: Stop it.  Anyway, we hope you enjoy our blog.  We hope that every time you watch Barbarella, every time you listen to William Shatner try to sing, every time you drink a refreshing can of Stephen Seagal's Lightning Bolt Energy Drink, hopefully you'll think of us.  And cry.
W: Big, wet tears of suck.  That sounded wrong, didn't it?
J: Yes, it did.
W: ...I'm cool with that.

Weaver & Jed